30 January 2009

"Sleepmonger"

SLEEPMONGER
By Curtis C. Chen

(For the screenplay purists, here's a properly formatted version.)

INT. CAFETERIA - DAYTIME

Most employees eat lunch here. It's early, so there aren't many people yet, but JACKSON is still sitting in a corner, eating alone, avoiding company. He's a large man, clearly obese.

TODD walks over excitedly, carrying his own lunch tray.


    TODD
Is this seat taken?

JACKSON's mouth is full, so he nods his head. TODD sits down anyway.

    TODD
So, about the other night--

JACKSON points a knife at TODD.

    JACKSON
Please shut up. You haven't told anyone, have you?

    TODD
Of course not! I gave my word. But I've been thinking. I know you need to eat a lot, but maybe if you figured out precisely how much, you wouldn't be so, well...

    JACKSON
Thanks. I was afraid I might go a whole day without someone mentioning my weight. Can you please leave me alone?

    TODD
But you've got an amazing power!

    JACKSON
It's not amazing. It's useless. Go away.

    TODD
Look. You've been hiding this all your life, yeah? You've never embraced it. You've never tried to use it.

    JACKSON
I can't use it. I can't control it.

    TODD
Maybe you just need a bit of practice.

    JACKSON
It's too dangerous.

    TODD
Jackson, with great power comes great responsibility.

    JACKSON
If you ever say that again, I will stab you.
  (sighs)
I'm going to tell you one thing. And then you're going to stop bothering me. Right?

    TODD
Depends on what you tell me.

    JACKSON
I discovered my... "ability" when I was twelve years old. Christmas. My parents were driving me home from the mall. We had waited in line for hours to see Santa. I was tired. I wanted candy. They wouldn't allow it. They were going to feed me a proper meal when we got home.

    TODD.
You were hungry. Oh my God.

    JACKSON
I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

    TODD
And you... your parents fell asleep? In the car?

    JACKSON
I saw my dad slump over the steering wheel. Then our car went off the road. I don't remember much else.

    TODD
Jesus.

    JACKSON
So you understand why I'm not keen to experiment with this.

    TODD
I'm real sorry about your parents, but you need to know. What if this building collapses, and it takes hours for them to dig us out? What if they can't get near us because you can't control your ability, and they all keep falling asleep? How many people might die then?

    JACKSON
You must be a lot of fun at parties.

    TODD
I just want to help.

JACKSON sighs and looks around the cafeteria.

    JACKSON
We don't talk about this here. We go someplace else.

    TODD
I totally agree.

    JACKSON
I pick the place. You drive. You pay.

    TODD
  (hesitantly)
Can we perhaps set an upper limit on the cost of these meals?

    JACKSON
  (quoting)
"Don't get cheap on me now, Dodgson."

TODD frowns, trying to place the quote, then snaps his fingers and smiles.

    TODD
Jurassic Park. Brilliant! "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

JACKSON rolls his eyes. He's already regretting this.

EOF

2 comments:

LC said...

So, without pointing out the painfully obvious, Todd, when hungry and needing energy, sucks it out of those around him? Or maybe it's not some sort of metabolic need. Or maybe it's not the point of the story that I figure this out :-D I like how the reader gradually discovers Todd's power. Keep going on the abilities kick -- I'm totally digging it. Small nits:

- Shouldn't Jackson be shaking his head instead of nodding his head since "Todd sits down anyway"? (Unless Jackson is Indian -- actually even if he were, it still wouldn't make sense since Indians indicate yes by shaking their head, but don't indicate no by nodding)
- "If you ever say that again, I will stab you" somehow seems really long. I know it's not even the longest thing he says, but it feels like it could be shorter and punchier, as could some of the other lines. But you may have a different image of Todd than I have -- obese, out of breath, short sentences because he's into avoiding people, especially this one he doesn't want to talk to.

CKL said...

You should go read the notes for this story. They're very informative, if I do say so myself. :)