tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8263012878402077039.post2545554660002392184..comments2017-08-14T18:44:04.281-07:00Comments on 512 Words or Fewer: "Ghost Machine"CKLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05813803474788808773noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8263012878402077039.post-13611424517328873102009-06-19T02:06:26.445-07:002009-06-19T02:06:26.445-07:00Yes, I did. And obviously I need it... :)
This ...Yes, I did. And obviously I need it... :)<br /><br />This was a rush job, and it's more of a first draft than some of the other 512s. If I ever figure out what Alpha actually wants, I might try expanding this into a longer piece and fix some of the problems you identified.<br /><br />Thanks for commenting!CKLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05813803474788808773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8263012878402077039.post-9344362788368452672009-06-19T01:55:13.663-07:002009-06-19T01:55:13.663-07:00I like the idea of this story but I felt there wer...I like the idea of this story but I felt there were too many words wasted on the whole "Steve thinks Amanda is playing a joke on him." I think I would have preferred both Steve and Amanda to shift into a different mode earlier and explore that new dynamic, even in the space of 512 words. Also, this one is a bit inconsistent -- explaining some technical terms (i.e. ctrl-alt-delete) but also casually throwing around terms like "ripping video." In short, great premise but writing could be tightened so that some of those 512 words could shift the characters or give us more plot.<br /><br />(You did tell me to feel free to post critique instead of emailing you :-) )LChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11041525871239371612noreply@blogger.com